The Wasp

(I wrote this about ten years ago after

visiting a hotsprings. I'll try to post some

more stuff too!)

The Wasp

Two weeks ago, on Saturday,
I took the train to a far off,
beautiful outdoor hotsprings
up a winding path deep in the
mountains.

It was wonderful.

But since it's summer, they
had a sign up Beware of Wasps.

It said the wasps bite.

So I tiptoed on the green, mossy
stones, slowly sunk deep into
the warm hotsprings water and
opened my paperback book to
read.

Then I heard a slight humming.

It soon became the purr of a toy
Cesna and I looked down and saw
a wasp friend was preparing to land
on my ear.

So I wacked it away.

Not a meatatarian wack, but a
gentle vegan one.

Next, I lowered my glance to the
water, and the wasp I had flung off
was on its back flapping the warm
water with both wings.

It was trying to breathe, and its
tiny fluttering lashes pleaded with
me for life. I want to live too.

My heart could hear the whisper
of its eyes Why...? Why...?

So I quickly grabbed a nearby
bamboo sun hat, scooped the
friend out of the water and
tapped it onto a nearby stone.

It made two or three splashes
in a small puddle of water, and
then flew straight up towards
the heavens.

I felt so proud.

I felt something sacred.

I was happy.

That day when I got home
I counted twenty-two wasp
bites on my body.

That was two weeks ago.

I made so many wasp friends!

Then last Saturday I went again.

This time I put anti-wasp gell all
over my body and even on my hair.

I layed again in the warm water
against a big rock and watched
the green leaves flutter against
the high blue sky.

It was so peaceful.

Then I heard two men say

"There's a wasp in the water."

I heard splashing sounds.

I looked and they were bobbing
a wasp up and down with something
in their hand, trying to delete its
name from the Book of Life.

I'm shy, so it's hard for me to
interrupt complete strangers and
say

"Excuse me servant of Satan.
Could you cease to sin before
God and man before I beachslap
you?"

But I had to.

So I rushed between the two
human handmaidens of Beelzebub
and up to the wasp friend and said

"I can't stand to watch this"

and scooped the friend up with my

sun hat like before.

I shook it up toward the heavens
and hummed the first few
verses of Born Free through my
nose.

But as I sang I felt a twingle on
the knuckle of my left index finger.

It was the finger of my hand that
held the bamboo cap.

I looked down and blood was
oozing from a fold below my
knuckle.

And a wasp was perched on the
knuckle part and was moving
its tongue to and fro to stir wasp
excrement into my knuckle blood.

I shouted out a term for copulation,
and instinctively vegan-wacked it high
into the firmament.

But then, still in shock, I felt
another tinkle and looked further
up and -- you may not believe this,
but it's true -- the wasp's friend
was perched on my left nipple, and
had its lower jaw open wide, like the
Visitors just after they returned to
mother ship and prepared to snack
on mouse, and it was tilting its glance
ever so slightly up towards me.
Time froze.

There was only me and the wasp,
you and I.

And the flutter of its tiny eyelashes
towards me above its poised mouth.

It gave me a loving sideglance,
and our hearts were one.

Then time started again, and
I heard myself proclaim a synonym
for number two since I had already
screamed the one for relations
a few moments ago.

My hand moved, and the wasp,
still living of course, shot up to
the clouds to join her friend
of a few moments earlier.

On the way back on the train
I felt my left chest hurt.

It still tingles a little now as
I write.

Then it struck me.

I'm a saint.

Mother Theresa helped thousands
of humans and was bathed in the
love.

I extended a hand of caring to the
forgotten, and was bitten on the
nipple by a wasp.

She bathed in love.

I bathe in ooze.

So I told this to my friends, making
comparisons when appropriate of
myself to Mother Theresa.

They told me that I'm lazy,
self-centered and am only vegan
to aggrandize myself and brag about
stories like the one I'm telling you
now.

So I have scars, a tingling nipple,
and now I've been humiliated too.

When there's a vegan pope I will
be canonized.

There will be justice in the world.

The gentle will be rewarded.

My left nipple will hang from the
rear view mirrors of the faithful,
with a golden wasp perched on it.

I will be called Mother Erik, and
will give hope to all.

Or perhaps Erik Claus.

History will fill in the details.

I'm worth something too!

I participated in giving the
greatest gift of all!

I got bit and humiliated.

But who cares!

My reward was seeing the happy
wasp flying towards the clouds.

That's enough.

I'm glad I was born. I'm so happy.

I'm so thankful I could share in
that.

The day of the early vegans
will come.

We will be saints.

We will bless all and wipe
away the tears of the sad.

We're surrounded by killing
and hurt.

The face of McDeath stands
proudly on cement.

Our self esteem should be
infinite.

We've done enough to feel
happy about ourselves.

We should be so proud!

My Question to Dalai Lama

Hi everyone!

I asked the Dalai Lama last week-end why he eats baby cows.

It was during the Question and Answer session after his talk in Yokohama, Japan.

It looked like almost 10,000 monks and other people were there. They came from Korea, Japan, Taiwan and everywhere. About 500 Buddhists came from Korea alone. It was a really big event.

The question before mine was something like

"Is the light that I see in meditation the same light that permeates the physical matter of the universe?"

The Dalai Lama gave a long answer comparing the light of meditation and the light of the physical universe.

And right after that I asked my question.

"Your Holiness, why do you hurt baby animals?"

The talk and everything was in Tibetan and Japanese, with almost no English. I asked my question in Japanese too, but this is it in English.

"Thank you for your talk which personally benefited me. I must ask something. The world press reports that your Holiness enjoys eating the meat of child cows. If your Holiness continues to hurt and eat the children of cows, how can you be a good example to the children of people?"

I've put an audio file of the question and the Dalai Lama's answer at this link.

http://www.esnips.com/web/eriklumberjacksStuff

I've written out the entire exchange at the bottom of the comment and put a translation too.

These were the main points that the Dalai Lama gave.

1. Buddhist rules of discipline don't say people can't eat meat. 

2. Some Buddhist teachings about boddhisatvas, however, do say we shouldn't eat meat. 

3. Tibetan monasteries in India only serve vegetarian food now.

4. He tried being vegetarian once but got sick and his doctors said to eat meat again.

5. Being a vegetarian is very good, though.

In other words, he makes baby animals cry and eats them because

(a) his doctor told him to, and

(b) ancient texts on Buddhist discipline don't specifically say he shouldn't make baby animals and then eat them.

I would have had more respect if he answered that he did it because his dog telepathically told him to over his car radio. That would make more sense.

I'll tell you why he eats veal.

It's simple.

It's because he LOVES it!

He smacks into it and chows it down.

And then he asks for the recipe so he can have some more made for him later.

In fact, he orders the meat specifically. He turns down vegetarian meals and asks for meat.

Take a look at the comments on the Dalai Lama on www.all-creatures.org, which I read before going to the talk on Saturday.

Like in France, he was offered a vegetarian meal at an official dinner, and glanced over to his left and then over to his right at the moist, luscious steaks that everyone else was eating except him, and then pushed his salad dish away and said

"What are these leaves? Take them away. Slaughter a calf for me. And a fat one. And I want the tears still on her cheeks. Yes, it must be moist, so moist..."

I'm dramatizing, but that's in effect what happened.

Just do a Google search on meat, dalai lama, france, or on dalai lama, veal.

It'll all come up.

He actually did eat "veal cheek"!

I'm not joking!

He loves eating the faces of tortures animals. Just search on dalai lama, veal, cheek. He eats their face!

And what's amazing is that just a couple days ago the Dalai Lama went out of his way during his visit to Japan  to mention the people who save the lives of whales by risking their own lives to knock the spears out of the hands of whalers.

He went out of his way to scold them for being too frisky.

All the things he could criticise and he has to choose that!

The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society pointed out afterwards that they haven't caused a single actual injury to any individual. Not one.

But the Dalai Lama rebukes them for standing in front of a bullet and saving a life.

The group has risked their own lives to knock the spear from a killer’s hand and has has counted that they've saved the lives of 528 gentle creatures of the sea.

But the Dalai Lama scolds them.

Here's a link.

http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=44,9286,0,0,1,0

If the Dalai Lama wants to take time out to scold people, why doesn't he scold the cook who tortures a baby for him? But then he's hungry so he says things like "I am a simple monk and must eat what is put before me".

And then gobbles down and asks for the recipe.

He rebukes someone who knocks a knife away from a killer, but doesn't rebuke someone who locks up a baby and then stabs it with a knife as it cries.

The tears still haven't dried on the child's cheek, and what does the Dalai Lama do?

He eats the cheek!

He looks at his dinner plate and sees the face of a crying child that has been tortured specifically for him based on his advanced instructions before he arrives and what does he do?

He eats the tear-stained cheeks.

And then he asks for the recipe.

I went to the Dalai Lama's Yokohama talk specifically so I could ask him face to face about this.

Why? How could you do this? How could you torture children?

And he says in effect "I torture children because ... my doctor told me to and the ancient Buddhists texts don't say I can't."

I'm so happy I could say this to him.

I asked the question and very politely and then stood there and stared right at him. Usually I'm shy and lower my glance so I was surprised at myself. That was the moment I waited so long for.

I looked right at the killer of children who says the ancient Buddhists text don't specifically say he can't torture a child and asked him why.

Usually, I personally enjoy the Dalai Lama.

I like that way he sits there on the stage like a child and waves his hand by twiddling his five fingers at people he knows in the audience and giggles. It's fun.

And then when he speaks Tibetan it sounds cool, like Vulcan or Klingon. Lots of shh and chhh sounds and there are tones going up and down with each syllable. It's neat.

But I'm sorry, after hearing his answer I'm now fairly sure he's challenged.

And he wants to join science and religion. That's one of his big goals. It's wonderful.

But how can he join religion and science if he says things that sound like "I eat veal because a doctor told me in the 1960s that a balanced vegetarian diet causes gall stones".

How can he join science and religion when answers questions about why he eats veal by saying "My doctor told me to".

That's like saying the world is flat.

He'll become a laughing stalk. Why isn't his entourage telling him?

Well, below is the entire exchange!

I should separate my rant above with the transcription below but I just created this blog page this morning and have no idea yet how it works.

If the audio doesn't work I'll try something else. The IC recorder kept on slipping into my pocket so there's noise in a couple places.

After my question, the Dalai Lama says "hngh" twice.

The fist "hngh" is an affirmative "hng" and sounds like "Yes, I understand".

And the second "hngh?" is after he's heard the whole question and sounds like "Say what!?" 

Dalai Lama Explains Why

It's Okay to Eat Baby Cows

File location of audio file: http://www.esnips.com/web/eriklumberjacksStuff

ENGLISH TRANSLATION

Recording position: 23:42

Dalai Lama's Interpreter: Next questioner please.

Questioner: Thank you for your talk which personally benefited me. I must ask something. The world press reports that your Holiness enjoys eating the meat of child cows. If your Holiness continues to hurt and eat the children of cows, how can you be a good example to the children of people?

(Noise of rumbling in crowd.)

Dalai Lama: Huh? ... According to tradition... [Switches to Tibetan in mid-sentence.]

Recording position: 25:34

Dalai Lama's Interpreter: Within the tradition of Buddhism according to the texts based on discipline, it is not written that one may not eat meat. In other words, when a monk, who is a Buddhist, goes out begging it's written that the monk may eat any food that he receives. On the other hand, in some parts of the texts that are based on the practice of boddhisatvas, there are some parts that say one may not eat meat. Due to this, I believe many among the monks in China don't eat meat. However, In Sri Lanka, Thailand and other places, I believe the monks eat the meat that they receive when they go out begging.

Dalai Lama: [Speaks in Tibetan]

Recording position: 28:48

Dalai Lama's Interpreter: Regarding us Tibetans, Tibetans' general living...um...if I talk about the living mode, Tibet is located on land at a very high altitude. And at a place like that where vegetables don't grow very much, the reality that exists there is that one can't live unless one eats meat. Therefore, with the exception of special situations Tibetans generally eat meat. And if I speak concerning monks, I myself am a Buddhist monk, and from when I was about 13 and 14...after that time...meat was always served during official at functions of the so-called Tibetan government.

And, if I may speak on a personal level, I stopped eating meat from 1965 and became vegetarian. I spent more than about two years on only vegetarian meals, and at that time the condition of my gall bladder got worse. And in 2008 I received an operation for gall stones and had my gall bladder removed...he received that kind of operation...and I think that was probably the very beginning...the beginning of my gall bladder illness...after the two years living without eating any meat at all, that's when the bad condition of my gall bladder started. And in line with this, when I had doctors examine me, the doctor(s) based on Tibetan medicine and doctor(s) based on western medicine both said that I should eat meat as I used to do.

Given this, I've been eating meat after that time and eat meat today as well.

And in India, in our temples...several of our temples have been rebuilt...Tibetan people in India...and in the Tibetan Buddhist temples there are common kitchens. These are kitchens that serve the entire temples and from more than ten years ago these kitchens serve vegetarian meals without any meat at all.

And in the Tibetan living areas...within India...there are particularly many of these in South India, in these Tibetan living areas there are no farms like chicken farms or pig farms.

Dalai Lama: [Speaks in Tibetan]

Recording position: 31:41

Dalai Lama's Interpreter: Of course maintaining a vegetarian diet is very wonderful.

Dalai Lama: Thank you.

Dalai Lama's Interpreter: Thank you.

TRANSCRIPTION OF ORIGINAL JAPANESE

Recording position: 23:42

通訳：次の方どうぞ。

Questioner: 個人的にとてもためになる講演を聞かせていただきありがとうございます。どうしてもお聞きしたいのですが、世界メディアは法王さまは子牛の肉を嗜むと報道しておりますが、法王さまが牛の子供を痛めつけて食べ続けるのならどうやって人間の子供に良い模範を示し得るのでしょうか？

ダライ・ラマ: はぁ? ... According to tradition... [チベット語に切り替える。]

Recording position: 25:34

通訳：そこで、仏教の伝統の中では戒律に基づく経典の中では肉食をしていけないと、してはいけない、という風には書かれておられません。つまり、仏教徒である僧侶が托鉢に出ていただいた食べ物であるならばそれは何でも食べて良いという風に書かれているわけです。しかしながら、菩薩の修行に基づく経典の中のいくつかの部分では肉食をしてはいけないという部分が出てくるものがあります。そこで、中国の僧侶の方々の中には肉を食べない、という方々も沢山、おられると思います。しかし、スリランカやタイなどのお坊様たちは托鉢に出られて、いただいた肉というものを皆さん召し上がると思います。

ダライ・ラマ：　チベット語

Recording position: 28:48

通訳：そこで私たちチベット人に関してですけれどもチベット人の一般的な生きて。。。あのう、生活の様式というものから話をしますならば、チベットというのは非常に標高の高い土地にあります。そして、そのようなあまり野菜が育たないようなところでは肉を食べないと生きられない、という現実がそこに存在していました。ですから、特別な場合を除いては一般的にチベット人は肉を食べている訳なんです。そして、僧侶に関して言いますならば、私自身がひとりの仏教の僧侶である訳ですけれども、ラサに居たとき、１３、１４歳ぐらいのときまで、えぇ、ときから、以降は、いわゆるチベット政府における行事の中ではいつも肉が出されていた訳なんです。そこで、また、個人的なレベルから申し上げますならば、１９６５年から私は肉食を一旦、やめてベジタリアンになったことがあります。で、ベジタリアンの食事だけで約２年間余りを過ごしたことがありますけれども、このときに胆嚢がやはり調子が良くなくなってしまう訳なんです。で、２００８年に胆石の手術を受けて胆嚢を摘出する、というような手術をお受けになっておられる訳なんですけれども、その、多分、一番始まり、胆嚢のやまいの始まりではなかったかと思う訳なんですけれども、その肉食を全てしない、という２年間の生活の後に胆嚢が、の、不調が起きてしまったと。ということでお医者さんに見ていただいたら、チベット医学に基づくお医者様も、西洋医学に基づくお医者様も以前どおりの肉を召し上がる食事に戻した方が良いと、という風におっしゃった訳なんです。それで、それ以来、私はまた、再び肉を頂いている訳で、今現在も肉を頂いている訳です。そしてインドの方では、私たちのお寺の方の方では、お寺に、お寺がいくつか再建されている訳なんですけれども、インドにおけるチベット人、チベット仏教のお寺の共同の台所がある訳です。全体を賄う台所なんですけれども、そこでは約１０年以上前から、一切肉なしのベジタリアンの食事を作るという風になっています。そして更にチベット人居住区がありますけれども、インドの中には、南インドの方に特に沢山ありますけれども、そのようなチベット人居住区の中でも養鶏場、養豚場を、そして、といった、そういったものは全てないです。

ダライ・ラマ：　チベット語

Recording position: 31:41

通訳：もちろん、ベジタリアンを維持する、ということは非常に素晴らしいことです。

ダライ・ラマ：　Thank you (English)

通訳：ありがとうございます。